陰極まりて陽生ず

自分を激しく見失なっていた時があった。

月に2回免許証を落としたり

知らない人のキャッシュカードが何故か自分の財布に入っていたり

レッスン中に泣きだしたりして

全然仕事にならず　　

「今日はレッスン代、いりません」

とか言って生徒さん帰したり。

最後の方は曜日の感覚すらなかった。

二週にいっぺん整体に通わないと

駄目な程、身体中痛くてガチガチだった。

そんなある日、

当時の夫と激しく口論になった。

あの時、

プチっと頭から音が聞こえて

何もかも反転した瞬間だった。

そうだ、

嘘っぱちと綺麗事をやめて

自分の性根を叩き直そう

と、

心に誓った。

自分の軸を取り戻した日だ。

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今もそれは続いていて

どんどん

太くしようとしている。